What bugs me, to this day when I shoot in a working environment is having to slip in and out of my frame of mind. What I mean is, I do my thing in life and making photos of it. I answer to me for the most part, yes I’m married and that’s where I have to answer the most. Now the DNC is here in Philly and I find myself doing shots that are press worthy. I also find I do my own work for me. 

Many years ago and I do mean many, like about 42 years ago, I did freelance work for the Bulletin Newspaper here in Philly. The assignment editor was named Jack. He called me in to the shop and explained about a soot and how he wanted it to be and how I could make like $2000.00. Well, I was all in as I was out of work, wife, kids, mortgage and Leica’s.

Jack wanted me to live and work in the Bowery. That area is no longer here and to tell the truth, I miss it and all the folks I met there…. soooo….I of course took the assignment. Jack wanted me to find the human element and the way people lived there. So, I set course to go and live there and see what I could learn. I had a green trench coat on, jeans, work boots, denim shirt. Small waist pack that held the M4, 35 Cron and a 50 Cron. I had a dozen rolls of Tri-X in my coat pocket. I learned in about 20 minutes why Jack offered me the assignment. It’s a rough area and the people living there don’t have anything to lose by waisting you and taking your shit.

When I was working on the assignment, I knew I had to get the Bacon for the paper. I also knew that I wanted to choose the bacon before I shot. My personal thoughts and emotions and everything were running on course but were also taking control of what I was to accomplish. After 3 days, I went to the shop and gave some film to Jack. He told my I smelled pretty ripe and I was kinda insulted but let it slide. about 35 minutes later we went to the light table and looked at the negs, It was like 4 or 5 rolls. Jack patted me on the back and said, great work. Now I felt super charged and as I left the office, I mentioned to Jack, look, I haven’t had a shower in 4 days. I’m sleeping n an abandoned bldg and I eat what they eat ate the mission.

One of the darkroom techs came to me and asked me if I needed anything special. I said look… there is one thing that keeps homeless people feeling like a human being and it ain’t food and it ain’t help from anyone…. it’s fucking Toilet Paper. So Adolpho gave me like a dozen rolls.

So I went back and worked and worked. I met people that amazed me. One older man way very clean kinda looking but he talked very educated. I was told his name was Doc. Turns out, he really was a doctor. Has a nice house in the suburbs, nice wife, 3 kids…all the things we are programmed to seek. Doc told me that he had an affair with a nurse and his wifes lawyer wanted to wipe him out. He went to the streets to be rid of his life and just be left alone. So I made portraits and got permission from some to use the photos and stories.

I’ll get to my point in a sec. Nah, let me get to it now. See, Jack knew better then me that when I did assignment work, I would connect to the essence of myself and the life I’m living and not distinguish between Work and Self Work.

So, now that this DNC is here, I’m making photos like I always do but there’s a clutter in my head as to what and why. I know that being in the here and now is essential and being there with an open hear and mind is also essential. Then to be there with a focused, awake intent, well…. it doesn’t get better then that.

So, regardless of the subject matter you choose, or cheeses you and regardless of the intent you impose on your work or allow the intent to impose on you…the important thing is just doing and feeling. The results need only matter to you. If your an assignment shooter, the same holds true.

Being aware and able to Slip in an out of your self and the frame is a gift that not everyone can tackle. The rewards are not just the pay you get or the amount of more work, or even the fame that comes with it all.

The reward is being in bed at night and drifting to sleep and being excited to be able to go out tomorrow and find photos that satisfy you. The gift is having the peace of mind and the knowledge that above all else in the universe, your a photographer  and you know your doing the right thing for your life’s work.

Have a blessed evening and I’ll be back tomorrow if I’m supposed to be. If I don’t make it, there’s a shitload of stuff to read here…..

shooter out……………………………………………………………………………………