(photos are with GRD II)
Well, you all know I name my cameras. Walker and Garry left the home front thru eBay and are no longer my cameras. So I no longer have a Pen EP-5. They sacrificed their well being so that I could acquire my new camera, the Olympus Pen F. I sold some lenses also that I never used anymore so all in all, it worked out fine financially. I must admit that it took over a week to get the camera because it was lost in traffic. But SHE is home and we are bonding. I’ll have some photos in my next blog.
I always ask youse all to help in the naming process and many great names are presented. This time, I decided on a name before I had the camera. The name is”Serendipity“. I am going to ty to live to the name. I mean I am always focused on what I want and what I am looking for and even how I plan to satisfy those elements. I guess it’s a way of being in the here and now without much force to effect an outcome. I mean I want to just BE and instead of constantly searching for photos, maybe let them find me. I teach that and I guess it’s time to rethink my own process. I just want the freedom of thought and feelings and for that to be in my photos
I guess I do that all the time but I need an excuse to beat myself up. I seek the synergism between photography and my part of it. That totally encompasses all the facets of camera. process and vision and all the things I didn’t mention. The idea for me is to be out in life, on the streets and to have an energy of serendipity lingering over my heart and mind. It’s not that I won’t be seeking photos, it’s just that i want a natural feeling when photos find me. I want the collaboration of life and the energy of life to find me and I want to be awake and have that energy mix with me and together find harmony and peace.
Why is this important to me? Well, maybe because the last few weeks I am afraid to sleep. I have nightmares that put me in a place I was at as a young soldier. I thought that when I left, I escaped the ravages of war. I thought I would at last have peace but I never found it. I can’t sleep and when I drift off, I am horrified that I won’t wake up. I won’t take sleeping meds because I can’t force myself to wake. I only have a sense of what peace is when I am making photos. It’s the only thing in my life that offers me the escape and that brings together the energies that surround me.
We all have reasons for what we do.I’m not seeking salvation or any kind or repentance. I’m looking for the solitude and a certain peace of mind that maybe isn’t shared but doesn’t have to be. I know my work defines me. I know I don’t really care if anyone relates or understands it. I do and that’s all that matters.
That being said, the Pen F is a baaaaad ass camera. I’ll introduce youse to her in a little bit. She’s silver and very elegant.
Her name is Serendipity.