….. it’s the early 80’s and I’ bringing 40 framed prints to a gallery in Olde City for a solo exhibition. It’s been 2 months in the works to get to this day, The Day of Hanging. I liked to hang shows and am actually very good and precise. I actually was a member of a gallery with the mixed artist. Most were faculty from universities and schools etc. So when I curated and hung the shows, i never had anyone complain. Mixing mixed media and having the show read well, is no easy task. Pat on my back and I needed it. This was different and it’s not my first solo show. It’s just the first for this gallery.
So I park in front of the gallery and P…says we are all ready. He has some young cute assistant and I hmmmmm, Okie. We get all the frames inside and drink coffee. The girl starts moving things around. She feels she has a talent for sequencing work. I’m quiet. P… says Andy is an expert at this. I’m thinking, she’s 21 and an expert….okie. She may very well be but I understand sequencing and she and P…haven’t a clue. i know by the way they placed the frames. So, I said to Andy,m ok… let me give it a shot. I start moving frames and after 15 minutes, I’m happy with the sequence. Andy moves in closer and then turns to me and ask….Do you make all these with a camera? Well, now I am 69 and if she asked me that question, I would poop my pants. oh yeah. This was a long time ago and I was younger and could hold, um… things better. To tell the truth, when Andy asked me that question, I almost did poop my pants. C’mon, what kinda question is that to ask? Andy says you must be really crazy with all these dark pictures. P…says, yeah, Don makes lots of crazy pictures.
Well, I deal with criticism very well. If a viewer or many viewers have things to say, fine. I don’t take it to heart. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has a lower body part where they can shove their opinions. The thing is, the gallery owner and director make statements like that, I got pissed. We are supposed to be in a synergistic relationship that feeds each other. My prints sell in his gallery and he gets 40% of the sales. So we get it all set up and ready. The 3 of us are sitting around and Andy apologizes for saying my work and I are crazy. P… has to leave and will be back in an hour.
Andy asks me if I can explain some of my photos so she will have a better understanding. Sure I said. She starts questioning me and much to my surprise, the questions were very thoughtful. I’m about 32yo and going on 80. I start telling Andy that I make photos that are a part of my life. See Andy, I was a soldier in Vietnam and that affected me for life. I will never fully get out of Nam. The dark tones, the highlights and the way I present the subject matter, all the aftermath of Nam. I can’t make photos of pretty flowers, or nice buildings and not even make photos of pretty girls,. wait, wait, let’s not get carried away. I can make photos of pretty girls….I’m not stupid.
I explained to Andy that my work is my life and my life is my work. I can’t be what others want me to be. I can’t make photos for anyone except my own soul. I like when someone responds to my work and even like it more if they buy some, but it’s not the motive for my persistence on discovering the world that lives within me and without me.
Opening night P and Andy greet me. I have jeans on and Docksiders, a whiter Tee shirt and a herringbone jacket. People start coming in and I greet them and answer questions. Many are people I know and it’s very comfy. Andy is walking a small group around and explaining my photos. I was so interested in hearing the conversations. She was very heartwarming and captivating. P…comes to me and says, You see why I have Andy here. Andy comes to me and wraps my arm in hers. < i have a strong heart and won’t let myself fall in love or like or anything. I have a smile on my face and we walk to some people and she introduces me.
There’s an older couple whom I have seen many times at First Friday’s. Andy says Dave and Maria would like to buy 7 photos. I have the list. Andy and I walk to P… and explain that 7 prints are sold. P…says he sold 4 already. I explain to P…. I wish Andy to get 20% from my cut. So, P…you get, 40%, I get 40% and Andy gets 20%. We all agree and Andy is like in heaven. The end of the night we sold 19 prints. The shows up for a month with openings every Friday night. Andy sold more prints and she became a great gallery director. Now she’s one of my finest collectors and takes good care of me. Andy became very wealthy and very informed. She’s well known and a sharp buyer.
I guess the moral of this story, the moral of this song is….. she judged me as crazy and my work. I judged her as a young girl like a butterfly. I learned that Andy had the flair to be a gallery director. She had an instinct for the viewers and how to motivate them to buy. She knew how to stir me and get me thinking and not be complacent with myself just cause I was working over and over in a similar vein.
What did I learn about me? I’m Still Crazy After All These Years
….as shooters, usually first impressions don’t mean much, we need further investigation of our subject and ourselves to be worthy of Mother Light
16 thoughts on “December 14th, 2018 … Still Crazy After All These Years”
This is a terrific read – like it.
Thanks Sean. I’m, glad ya like it…. seeya out there….well..so to speak
Real great and emotional article, wow. Really got me and got me thinking, thank you! 🙂
Thanks Michael. I figure if I write emotional stuff, then the readers will take the emotions and I have less to deal with…. Have a great holiday.
Enjoyed it a lot. Thanks
Thanks much Borja
I am engulfed in things to read, but when you post I look forward to reading it! Photography is not a choice it is who you are!.I understand, it might help that I am old also! 😉
Stephan, thanks much. I believe your right about age shedding light on the subject of life. When I was in Nam I got a Zippo that was engraved….”Life has a flavor the protected will never taste”
When I was younger I felt I doubted myself and my self worth. Now that my youth is in my history, I remember those feelings but now I am empowered with age that I can flush that stuff down the toilet.
Don, read here all the time, comment, well, uh, never. Love your writing and your photos and the way you just bare you soul with both. Thank you.
Rodney, thanks for the nice observation on my musings. Stick around my friend
Don, been here for years now and ain’t going nowhere. I’m old and crazy too…
Thanks Rodney, much appreciated. They keep telling me that age is a virtue but i never figured that out.
Have a blessed holiday.
your blogs always make me consider my own place in my little life bubble – great read, as always. Ned
…. thanks Ned. Turns out there may be many little bubbles of life all around us. It may be nice to bump into some on the journey…..but don’t burst anyones bubble….
Another full of insight …. Cheers!
Thanks, Michael. Much appreciated my friend.