Tag Archives: Dreamcatcher

Leica, Street Photography, Streetshooter

November 17th, 207 … The Memory of Being

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Leica M240 35mm Zeiss

………what about being in the moment? Is it really a moment? Is it just ONE moment and then it’s over? Maybe it’s a series of moments and then it’s not a moment at all. Perhaps as photographers, we really should not live in the moment but just have the memory of it. Maybe what’s really important is not the moment at all but the memory of it. Surely the memory will outlive the event of the moment. No matter if it’s The Decisive Moment or just a regular non specific moment.

The important thing is not the moment but being in the moment. Maybe that’s not right either and I personally believe that the memory of being is all that matters in any situation. The memory of being is all that remains after a breath passes.

Photographers are possessed with being in the moment and capturing an image that reflects the memory of the experience of that moment. I am not convinced that I succeed in that mission. I fail because I make photos that are more of a personal outlook to me then the actual living breathing moment.

Years ago I embarked on a body of work about American Artist. I used an 8×10 Deardorff named Margaret after my exes mother’s name. I made countless photos of many famous people. It was a humbling experience to say the least. As I moved along the journey, I started to realize that death was my partner on this project. Most of the artist were much older than me.  As I released the shutter, I felt that being there was a special emotional moment that I wanted to cherish forever. That set the framework for all the photos. I wanted a descriptive living document of all the ones I photographed.

I wanted the families and friends and collectors of these people to have THE image of that particular artist. I’m not saying I ever succeeded in anything but creating a false representation of a reality, that suggest to me or the viewer that I was there and this is what I saw.

So the memory of being introduces an element at the moment of release that I can’t get past. That element is, being aware of being in the moment, or being aware of making the memory of the moment. Perhaps the 2 live side by side and only some people even care about it.

I write these things as observations that have captured me along the way. You may or may not find worth in it but I will continue just as I will continue making photos.

Be blessed all………end transmission…………..

Dreamcatcher, Inspired Eye, Photography, Street Photography

November16th, 2017 … A Casual Walk With My Intent … or Gone Fishing

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Like any serious photographer, I have my moments of discontent. What I mean is that the photos I’m making are ok for me to continue but not the celebrated ones we hope will shine. I wrote about this a few post back. Flashback to around 1973.

I’m sitting on the bank of a creek and fishing with Bill, my father in law and Bob his brother and my 2 brother in laws Dan & Billy. I have all the good stuff. Fenwick ultra lite rod, Penn reel and all the lures and things to make Opening Day of Trout Fishing a great experience. I had my Leica M4 and 35mm Cron in my vest pocket. I will not talk about the financial investment in this undertaking. We are fishing our own styles and I caught a few small ones and put them back in the water.  I said to Bob, what the hecks going on? All these people fishing and not many fish being caught. Bob was laid back against a tree stump like it was an expensive leather chair.

Donald, he said, 90% of the fish are caught by 10% of the fisherman. 10% of the fish are caught by 90% of the fisherman. I almost stopped breathing. I had an epihany, and it proved Bob right. Oh my I thought. Why am I doing this? Bob said, Donald….I come out here to relax. I love the fresh air, the water all the nuts like you trying to catch fish.  I said your fishing. He reeled his line in and there was just a sinker, no hook, no bait. He’s calling me nuts right.

Bob said. look, it’s very relaxing right now. No kids, no wife, no work just you bugging me, he smiled. I asked him, why no hook or anything? Donald, if I have a hook, then I need bait. Then the hook gets snagged on something so I need to start over. What happens if I catch a fish? I gotta deal with that and …it’s good fishing but it damn sure ain’t relaxing.

Making photos for me is like fishing. I love to catch the big fish but I won’t rule out the ones that are not keepers. I LIVE photography. I love every single aspect of it. If I was to just go for those great shots, what about the energy that goes into that. I mean if you picked up your camera and every time made your masterpiece, well, they wouldn’t be. The inverse square law dictates that in order to survive as a photographer, you need to take the good with the bad and love all equallly.

The ones you feel are not keepers, if you don’t love them you will not learn from them and probably not find the great shots you are capable of. Not every shot is a benchmarm, nor do they need to be. I go out on the streets and I am relaxed. I’m breathing, listening, seeing and processing in my heart abd mind photos I seek to find. You can do things the way you want but trust me, if you slack off because your not getting the work you rhink you want or need, you better open your eye, heart and mind cause your making a mistake.

I’m not saying to get complacent, just saying there’s a lot of fish in the waters. For me, I;m very relaxed and content just being alive with my camera.

….shooter out………………..

Photography, Street Photography, Streetshooter

November 14th, 2017 … … 40 Minutes in NYC … and In Nam … With Roger

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First Meeting

It’s Sunday afternoon around around 3:00pm, or 1500 if you like. The phone rings and Roger says, I need … and he gives me a list of cameras to bring to him in NYC. OK, I forgot, youse don’t know Roger. I’m 13yo in Junior High School and as I walk past the store on Old York Rd, I see 2 kids tormenting a another kid. I don’t know the kids getting his butt kicked but I do know the 2 assailants. So I walk over and say to the 2 kids, what’s up? Mind your business Springer. Quickly I said, (now just cause ya know kids don’t mean they won’t jump ya and kick ass)….So I said, it is my business, he’s my cousin. They looked at me, ok….  They stop and tell the kid, your lucky. They leave and I’m now with this kid that’s a real nerd. He’s tall and over weight and just the kind of kid bullies like to mess with. The kid says, thanks Don. Hmmm, I don’t know him but he knows my name. So I ask him his name and he replies, Roger ….? He hugs me and thanks me.

We walk towards my house and it turns out he lives around the corner from me. We become friends. Y E A RS P A S S………. The war in Viet Nam is brewing and I don’t know what the hell it even is. I get my draft notice. Mom cries. Aunt Ann wants to send me to a safe house in Canada. I tell Roger I was /drafted. He says, yeah, I know.’m going with ya. I say WHAT! Roger says, where’s Vietnam? Who’s fighting there? I answer in my most intellectual manner, dunno?

So…I say, Roger, what did you do? I told dad I wanted to ge with you. I get this chill up and down my back. How did you do this and why? Roger says, dad made a few calls and we are going to be together the whole time. Why, I ask. Look stupid, you don’t know what Vietnam is. Ya don’t know about anything. I’m going to make sure your ok and come home. I felt some kinda way about this and remember, Roger got his ass kicked more than a few times. How’s this guy gonna protect me? See, I never knew Roger’s family was very very wealthy. That’s how his dad got this done. I learned that this was the reason Roger got in fights all the time.

 

Vietnam Payback

115F and must wear  the helmet. We are going thru Chu Lai Village and we never know if it’s hot or not. So we assume it’s hot. Coming out thru the North Side, all 15 of us are feeling kinda safe and most light up a sally. Sally is a Joint that you soak in Liquid Opium and then dry it and smoke it. It’s called a Sally Joint. Oh yeah, I smoked that baby but never inhaled. we get to a clearing and kinda going slow. No small arms fire but all the sudden, out of nowhere…. that whistle sound and then…the sounds of Hell coming up to catch you. The Mortars are coming down quickly. The thing about mortars is that they are mathematical in use. So the tube can be adjusted to get very accurate as to target acquisition. Scary shit man, no joke.

Anyway, we are running to tray to break the rhythm and pattern of the rounds raining on us…….Then….the earth shook, my ears went numb for don’t know how long but, I had this ringing sound in my ears and head and a very loud numbing sound of silence. I’m dizzy and can’t hear and my eyes ayr covered in dirt and I fall to the ground. I try to look around between the rounds falling and I see someones leg in front of me and I just knew this is where I shall be for eternity. I lay still and close my eyes and pray that The LORD ends this Hell fast.

Well, in less then a minute, I feel someone grabbing my legs and pulling me. I can’t move or see who and all[ the sudden, I thought I was captured. I pissed my pants at some point but don’t remember when. Then this person tries to roll me over and I can’t do nothing. I expected to see a VC with an AK47 pointing at me and then as I look up, Roger is pouring water on my face and rinsing my eyes and putting water in my ears and mouth. He bends down and checks my body for blood and holes. I’m still in some kind of shock. Roger is talking to me but I can’t understand a word. He picks me up and carries me to the chopper and puts me on and the n he gets on. We get extracted and there’s no fire after us. I now can start to hear the blades of the chopper. There’s a medic and he spends a minute checking me and looks at me and gives me a thumbs up. Roger is sitting next to the door gunner and in a way I didn’t understand, protecting me with his M16.

 

When the phone rang and I hears Roger’s voice, I knew he needed something. See, him and Mary are traveling all over the world. He’s a International Copyright Attorney.

So I get this list of things he needs as he’s in NYC for 3 days. I go to his home and go into the walk in safe and get the cameras. It’s about 2 hours from Philly to NYC and no traffic and I get there on time. Mary gives me a hug and the Rog says, thanks again, your my hero as always.

When we were 13yo, I stopped a few bullies and then, in Nam, this nerdy overweight kid I helped way back then…. comes to my rescue, carries me out of harms way, gets me to the chopper and saves my eyes, my hearing and my life, and I’m his hero!

What goes around, comes around….better believe that!

Dreamcatcher, Street Photography

October 31st, 2017 … The Dreamcatcher … Recipricating Energy

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Andre’ the Leica M240 and i was out on Market Street. We were walking at a nice comfy slow pace for 2 old guys. Actually I’m older than Andre’ but his lineage predated me so, we are equal. One should always be equal with their camera. One should always be equal with their process. No matter how hard one tries one will never be equal with life.  What does this mean? I’ve talked about stance before. Stance is how you are perceived by the world. What you do and how you do it effects your stance.

Well everyone on the planet has a stance. For shooters the stance is crucial to making photos. It’s not just about how you work your stance but also just as important… how the world and the people in the Frame work their stance. and how you perceive that. Of course this is all reality based. I mean that mostly things are tangible and thue we can accept them or not. Even if not, we can grasp what we not accept.

What about things not tangible. Things that exist but maybe in a different state of being. How about thoughts? What dimension are thoughts? So the way I see it is, thoughts, emotions, feelings all manage to effect our stance. Our stance has a direct relation on what and how we make photos. It has the innate ability to conjure up dreams. These dreams will flow into your thoughts. Your thoughts will seek the affirmation of being  real by trying to find photos.

 

When you find your photos they may become a catalyst  to create thoughts  and those thoughts can trigger dreams. This is an example of the photographers concept of Reciprocal Energy.

Anyway, Andre the Leica M240 and I were out making photos. I mentioned this at the start of the post. For as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to isolation, loneliness, detachment  and other emotions similar to these. I suppose that I am seeking my self out there with my camera. I think I find pieces of me in the photos I make. Maybe the photos are more me then I care to admit. This is of course a very personal situation and I understand the position this places me with my work. I kinda think you, yeah YOU the one reading this has a similar situation.

 

So I look at my photos and many are the catalyst for my Dreamcatcher work.  When I sleep, which is never long, I may see these photos in my minds eye. It’s better than the nightmares that usually haunt my mind. When I wake, perhaps when I’m out working, the thoughts from the dreams manifest in my vision and I seek to satisfy those thoughts.

The energy a photographer acquires and uses is the driving force of his/her vision. Un-Photographers walk around and see things and most does not penetrate the mind or heart. Photographers see things and make photos of things. When the mind processes these images, they become a part of your photographic value system. You can not escape this reciprocal energy. Fight it as hard as you may and you will lose every time. These thoughts are what make you and your work unique in the universe of photography. They give birth to your photos. They keep driving you to find the next photo. They bless you with a photo that sings a song that Mother Light smiles upon. They don’t happen very often. We don’t want them to anyway. They would dilute themselves into excellent mundane photos.

The beauty of the Mundane is that it makes contrast to the excellence of the Unique. They say and I damn sure don’t know who they are but I assume they are someone……that the Unique photo is what keeps you driving and working hard to find you next photo. It is supposed to be the driving force. Well, I don’t feel that way. I am a lifer in photographer. I have learned that what drives me is not the Unique photo but the entire process of working. I am not now nor ever was a heavy shooter. I go out and usually make around 20-30 frames. I do this 3-5xs a week for over 50 years.

I love my cameras, I name them. I love the entire process of photography. I love the reciprocal energy that drives me. I get my share of unique photos and even some that sell to my collectors and galleries etc. I LIVE making photos. They are all my children and I am the origin of my work.

I have more thoughts and will post in a day or so…….. be blessed everyone and maybe once in a while, take note of what your doing and fall in love with it.

Color, Leica, Street

October 20th, 2017 … The Workflow Mistake and the Seeing Color Again Post

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Ok, so I been on Lightroom since the beta. I been on DNG since Creative Cloud was released and I was there in NYC when they announced it. Yes I am pointing out that  I have experience in the processing and workflow.

Well I was on a walk-a-bout with Andre the Leica M. I’m seeing the fall light and that activates the color sensor in my brain. I decide to go with it and just breathe in the cool fall air and spend some time with Andre. Ya know how most cameras make a great JPEG file and it’s always nicer thank the Raw file? Well the Leica’s don’t do that. Oh’ they make nice JPEGs but the DNG files are just totally intoxicating. Why do I mention this…………………………………………………………..>

<…………………………………………………………….. We headed home and I got LightRoom loaded and ready. I take the card out of Andre and slip it in the card reader in the PC. LR does it’s thing and the files are imported to the catalog. So now it’s like film processing and seeing the negs, for me that’s what it’s like. I see the photo above, the 1st one here, and I start to run presets because I want to make sure if I use the Leica DNG’s, I am ready to go. The files are so workable that I start to mess around with the image and get excited how things are working.

Then I decide to do that side by side comparison thing. (I never do Raw + JPEG, just Raw only but this time I wanted to do color comparisons so I have JPEGS.)

I load the JPEG on the left and the Raw on the right. Well, I see that the DNG does not need much work if anything but I like to experiment. Well, I pull the card from the pc and put it back in Andre and format the card. One step done. then I decide to shut down and I click the left photo which is the JPEG and delete….LR ask if I want to remove or delete…. kill that sucker, delete it.

At 68 yo I still have a sense of humor with the world. When I do something wrong and or  stupid, in a few minutes or so I realize I messed up. I click that photo and hit delete but LR deletes the DNG file. It’s one of those highlight issues. You can’t always see it. So I realize the DNG is gone. I close LR but quick exit so I can do other things. Eureka! I open LR again and then I get this kinds burping on the brain and I need a toilet quickly. Why you asked? Because the last import is POOF’D. I didn’t back it up.

Sandisk Disk Rescue didn’t work. It’s a Sandisk card and the new 300mp/s dude. So I give up and surrender  but fo 68 seconds. I search the web and find many programs that claim to recover things. I try some and this sickening feeling is growing.There are cost involved. I see from $69.95 – over $99.00 USD.

I see this site that has a card recovery program and I try the demo. Man, all the photos are there. I am amazed. I decide if it’s under a Hundred bucks, I’ll get it. I do this stupid stuff not often but this is a security blanket. The Card Recovery program says I can buy it to get the files. Well. I clock buy and it’s $39.99 USD. So I sit back like a kid and the click save and sure enough the program puts all the photos in a folder.

I am wiggling and squirming and almost giggling with joy. I open LR and import the photos and it was all there. I sat back and thought that this little program saved me a lot of grief. I didn’t tell Andre’ the Leica M about this but I think he will be ok with it.

I guess the point is, one is never too old to learn or mess up. There is always a solution. The real point for me that I feel is the take away is….I wanted to experiment. I did and actually, this entire episode has been an experiment.

I have taught countless people things about photography. I know some will be reading this and I will no doubt get messages…..

“shooter, how many times I tell you don’t format the card till your all done”?

Have a good weekend alls………………

 

 

 

 

Dreamcatcher, Philosophy of Street, Street Photography

October 18th, 2017 … Observing … Social Commentary Ain’t No Crime

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…..ya got yer politicians doing nothing but shamming the people, ya gotz yer nfl players that don’t show respect to the flag and that means to all Americans, then ya ya got no good health care and no money to get it anyway……

I think there is a lot more that gets shoved in our faces and feces but I ain’t one to say to much.  See, we are all non-immune from the social injustices in life. The way it effects most but not all photographers, is like a spice or flavor added to our work.

Ok look, I ain’t supposed to know about this stuff and certainly not to express it here or anywhere else either.  I know you will find this hard to believe but, shhhh….looks around….hmmmm ok then…. it is said from photographers from centuries passed that walking around and making photos, well things could effect you. Crazy huh.?

We are not isolated from others and more importantly, we are not isolated from ourselves. If we walk down the street and see a homeless person on the side, laying there….even if we don’t make a photo… that sight effects us in ways we may not want to pay attention to. Maybe we are walking around and see store window that’s designed to attract middle class working people, that effects us also. We can not escape the elements of life and all that comes with it. We are attacked, assaulted by life all the time and then we are blessed with simply breathing in the sweet stench of the street that once inside us, has the ability to consume us and overtake the heart.

There needs to be a release because there is no escape from life. Death, that’s not a solution to life. Life is the cause and the solution for living. Photographers are blessed with the ability to digest and find a meaning for oneself.

We as photographers are the lucky ones. Of course all beings are invaded by life’s good and bad. Photographers process all that confronts us and we make photos of whatever we decide to make them of. Just because we choose not to let the virus of life infect our personal world, doesn’t mean it’s not in our DNA.

The blessing for we photographers is not in the making of the photos, but in the gift of having others see what we feel and think. We don’t need to have many comments or accolades. We just need a few from people that try to understand us, other photographers.

Therein lay the real Social Commentary.

 

Philosophy of Street, Photography, Street, Street Photography

October 8th, 2017 … Measure Yourself Against The World … Thoughts On My 68th B’Day

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There comes a time when we need to sit and look at our work and try to see where we were, were we are and where we think we are heading. I figured this time, at my 68th birthday was a good time for personal re-evaluation. See, we ALL need to do this because we need to check our stuff so the map of our life going forward has some light on it.

We spend time looking at other shooters photos. A good thing to a degree. We spend time reading books and even studying the masters and famous photographer’s. We watch movies about these people and movies about exhibitions. We go to galleries and museums and get close to original images we admire.

So this is an ongoing romance with everyone and everything but ourselves. We feel inspired by all the works we see and feel from everyone….. wait a second here, I ain’t no coward and I ain’t no dummy. What I mean is, after a time of indulgence in others and their work, is it possible that we do that so we avoid confronting our own work?

See, it’s easy to avoid the truth of one’s self. Oh, it’s easy to lie to yourself but to confront and accept the truth, no way. It’s ok as we all have these issues. Well, I see it this way. Ya know how when ya go and buy a new shirt, that you really like? Then ya wear it and don’t get many nice remarks and ya feel your feelings are hurt? (this does not apply to woman. See, if a woman gets a blouse and even if it’s the blouse from hell, when her man or her woman sees it, it’s gotta be the most beautiful blouse in recorded history. If not, Hell hath no fury…. ya know the rest)

Well, some of the photos you make and not all by any means, are your feelings and thoughts and vision. Others see them and decide for themselves the value of them and how they individually relate to your work and you. This is a very delicate situation. It’s a delicate way because, the viewer may or may not want to comment. If they do, will they post the true feelings and be honest ot just post what they think you want or need to hear.

So we need to be honest with ourselves. This is very hard to do and although it must be done on a regular basis, we probably will find it easier to avoid this. I do for sure. Man, I’ll go out with my camera and shoot and make photos and just be in a state that satisfies me on levels not much else comes close to. Then when I start to process some will come to life and I fall in deeper love. I realize that I am trying to use the photo as a catalyst for my thoughts and emotions.

The hardest part is to abandon the ego. To just accept yourself as a human with a camera and to love what that means. It ain’t about how others see and think of you. It ain’t about how anyone sees and thinks about your work. It’s about truth. The truth that you are your life and your work. To stand strong and be accountable for what and why you do photography.

This approach does not negate the responsibility that we all must assume and utilize for others. It’s just that being in the moment is one thing. I am certainly an advocate for the Eye, Heart and Mind.

When you see the above photos, your seeing me. I stand for them and they stand for me. I feel them and they give me reason to continue.  Some will think that there’s little value to these photos or in fact any I ever made or will make. That’ a fine response. We all hae opinions and I respect all.

At 68 today, these photos are me standing nude in front of you minus my pecker and that ain’t no big deal anymore….

Be blessed my friends…………………

Inspired Eye, Philosophy of Street, Street Photography

September 16th, 2017 … The Anatomy of The Creative Block … The Struggle To Continue

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Here’s something I deal with. It is said to look at something as if your seeing it for the first time. On the other hand, I always practiced….look at something as if your seeing it for the last time. Both ways are correct and wrong at the same time. Each of these trains of thought creates an approach to your work. In the land of preconceptions, these are two of the biggest demons to get past.

Preconceptions are tools for the brain. What happens if your working and after a while, you feel that you are bored, not satisfied etc. Well, what’s happening is…you brain is setting up judgements about what you do. Then it passes judgement and this directs your energy to continue. Good or bad.

Here’s where your creative block gets born. You go to work and make photos and you feel pleased because just the act of making photos is satisfying. Then you look at the collection of photos and this sick feeling gets in your gut like…. I lost it. I don’t see anything to make photos of. It’s not exactly true but it’s not exactly wrong either.

What is a creative block? It’s exactly what I said it is. It’s the battle of preconceptions in the Brain. It’s because the photos are judged by the preconceptions the brain has established as truths. Of course many photos pass the judging stage and is allowed to satisfy the operating systems. Those accepted photos are fuel for the continuing journey. We deal with them later. The sad photos pile up and create hurt feelings, doubt, anguish, anger etc. The brain looks at the failed photos and stifles growth, work, love etc.

We are creatures of habit. So if we continue to do something, right or wrong, in time it’s accepted because it becomes a habit. The brain forces us to work to it’s preconceived habits. So if we make photos that are technically good, framed good and everything looks right…..except…..

There is a spark of magic or life not present. We are kinda put off and think we lost the edge. I mean it’s all there, eye, heart and mind and intent but no life. The brain in all it’s habitual glory gets satisfied because most preconceptions are met to achieve satisfaction. Yet, there exist a yearning for more. Something that reaches into our depths and drags the eye, heart, mind and intent to try to be more alive.

I’m sure that all of us can look at our photos and ask ourselves, “what is missing”? On the other hand, we may ask…”why is this so wonderful”?  Now to the real issue. The what is missing and the what is wonderful is not easy to recognize. Perhaps we never get to see it at all. We just know when something is right or something is wrong. We understand this because our brain sends info to us and we are satisfied and trust our brain.

This is where our problems are born. We go to work and walk around looking for photos and feel kinda content but apprehensive because we are nervous that we lost the edge. You didn’t lose the edge. The brain is just keeping everything in check so that you don’t get too happy or too upset about what your doing. It’s called Brain Complacency Illness. Here’s where we need to step up the energy and move forward with our heart guiding us.

To be cont’d…………… don’t worry, I’ll be back before ya know it…………..

Leica, One Shot, Street Photography

September 8th, 2017 … One Shot Per Shoot … Leica M

5 Comments

Andre’ and I set out for a walk-a-bout in town. Now, just bear with me ok. Andre’ and I communicate telepathically and as we are walking around, we have conversations about making photos. See, I used to just walk with Andre’ and talk openly. See, I live in Philly and that behavior is kinda accepted. Now I have a doctor that tells me I can talk to anything just don’t let others and especially him know I’m doing it. So now I just talk with Andre’ telepathically and we get along fine.

I find it interesting how things off camera seem to effect me on camera. We were strolling thru Jeweler’s Row and I’ve seen this corner so many time over the past decades. I don’t really look at jewelry but I like to see people looking at jewelry. I don’t deliberately go and work on any particular theme or series. I like to just be free to make photos. Way back in early 70’s, I had a friend that told me I was good at social commentary. He called me the man on the street, the Philly photographer. Well, I searched in libraries and talked with people cause I hadn’t a clue what social commentary even was.

The point is, that we have things in our head and at times they will activate. When they do, you may or may not be receptive to the input. I learned thru the ages to pay attention to these things growing inside. What you learn is a part of what you are. What you are is a part of what you make photos of.

I’m not explaining the photo above. You either get it or you don’t.

Leica, Philosophy of Street, Street Photography

August 27th, 2017 … The Shroud of Mystery of Our Work … Leica M

12 Comments

It is said that a photo speaks 1000 words. I remember being at opening receptions for my work. I would walk around and listen to people talking about the photos. Sometimes I heard very interesting comments. Sometimes someone would ask me why I made a photo and others asked how I made a photo. Still others asked what the body of work was about. Maybe I am just not educated enough to answer in a very elegant manner. I’m not being Fa cesious at all but honest.

 

After the opening and I spent time thinking and feeling about the experience, I would reflect back at the comments I heard or was asked. Not because I wanted to remember the comments but because of how they made me think. I would continue to work and just be intense doing so but inside, I was searching for answers. Remembering the answers I gave to the people that asked me questions at the event but really struggling to find a resolution for myself. Perhaps these answers would only dwell inside me and never find the light of day.  I wondered if that was even an acceptable solution.

 

So if a photo speaks 1000 words, maybe there is no reason for any words after it. I disagree. I believe that the value and intent of a photo changes with time. We like to think that when we make a photo, it is like an anchor for our thoughts, feelings and intent. Well, perhaps this is true but like it or not, the value and intent of the photo will change. It is not nor ever an anchor. It it just a catalyst to launch feelings, thoughts etc in the here and now and as that here and now changes thru time and life. This challenged every belief and thought about photography. I wondered if I was wrong but in due time, I realized I was right. Let me say this. What is right for me may not be for you.

 

So I realize that my duty is to make photos. It’s what my life is about. Nothing less. My deceased friend Peter told me….”you make the photos and let others talk about them”. Well, I listen to Peter but that doesn’t dissolve the thoughts I keep inside. I was anxious to know what I was doing and why. I also knew and know that the pursuit of the answers I sought would and will detract from the work I do.

 

What I noticed mostly with collectors and curators etc. They look at the photos and say very few words. Then I see that I made the photos but longed for the words. I felt that if there was 1000 words living in the photos, I wanted to know those words. I felt outside of what I was doing. They became the connection to the work I was and am responsible for.

Not so quickly and maybe not even yet, I realized that photos are more personal then I believe. The catalyst called the photo allows and supports different feelings and thoughts from each individual viewer. Even then, that can and all will change with the passing of time.

 

I do know somethings. I know that many people comment and understand my work. I don’t. I don’t act like I do either. All I can do is follow my instincts and make the next photo. I long to understand what and why I’m doing it but I can’t grasp it. All I can do is make the photos and love them as a part of me. Others can talk if they choose but the words spoken or thoughts will have little or no effect on my continuing. I make photos because I have to. I make photos because it’s my life’s work.

I make photos for the moment of the memory and the memory of the moment. Do I understand why and what I’m doing. Maybe in part but not in full. Do I want to have such a strong understanding of what and why I am doing it? Well, I think not. I feel some kind of satisfying completeness making photos. I don’t understand them too much. I guess if I did, I’d have no more reason to make them and that scares the crap out of me. There are a million reasons to make photos and not one single good reason to stop.

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