Tag Archives: Eye

Unheard Voices … The Stance

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How we do battle with the demons inside us and even the ones waiting to get in, determines how well we adjust and carry on with our work.  I call this, “The Stance”. Why? Well, we are bogged down with baggage that we generate and we pick up from others. So we need to adjust our stance to make due with the battles ahead. It is battles because these things intrude on our process and have an effect on the print and there’s no way of preventing it. No way of preventing it from happening over and over again.

I remember way back when the sky was a real blue, I would bring prints to Ding and he would look carefully at them and most times say something like…. “Nice, keep going.”

I mean after all, the prints he had all over the place was very intimidating to me. In a short time I was reluctant to bring any to him.

Then he said  something to me that I try to live by….”When you feel that you are present in the photo, enough to want to stand by it under any and all conditions, let me see it.” Easier said than done and time went buy and I didn’t bring him anything at all. In fact, I didn’t want to go to him anymore cause I was intimidated.

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After a time, I made some prints I really cared about. It’s not that I didn’t care about the others, it’s that I felt I was in these new prints. I took them to Ding and he sat patiently and looked at them. I had 6. That’s right, 6 prints and it took me maybe 4 months to get them. Ding had this look on him that is like scrutinizing the very fiber of the paper. It’s like he was sniffing the Thiosulfate and Perma Wash. Then he looked at me and said, as he held up a print….”this is beautiful, you nailed it”….I looked at him with an innocence of a young boy looking at his father for approval.

The he held up the other 5 and said, ” Don, I don’t have words for these but I would love to have them in my personal collection.”

Now, I’m not really the one at a loss for words. I may not always have polite words but I have words I tell ya…..I just sat there and had a complete realization that I WAS a PHOTOGRAPHER, for real. What Ding did for me at that moment has never been equaled in any manner. I’ve had over 50 One Man shows, countless group shows, sold many prints, works in collections, museums, collectors and yet, I was born with those words Ding said to me.

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I felt an energy come into me, not over me but into me. What was born back then was not just me as a photographer but a photographer with a stance. I mean it gave birth to a realization of my own self worth. I don’t mean ego cause I keep that away from me as much as possible.

I felt that I should trust my instincts on all manners and without wavering from outside input.I knew that I knew my craft and I was ready for a lifetime of doing it. I don’t practice photography, I live it. I don’t just make photos, my photos define me as well.

So the STANCE is a frame of mind that overcomes all forms of input and energy that tries to enter your SPIRIT. We will never rid ourselves of all the crap that attacks us but we can develop a STANCE that overpowers it all. It requires being strong enough to take cuts and abuse and lack of interest in your work. It requires a firm appreciation of the whole that we are and a total committed love of what we do and why we do it and how we do it.

We are shooters after all…. what could be better…..?

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Unheard Voices

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Well, apparently I’m not the only one thinking about my work. I got some nice emails from readers here and even some post about the situation. Oh yeah. it’s a situation alright. It’s bi-partisan also.

I happen to really like the above photo. No matter what others think and or feel….I like it, I feel it and glad that I made it. Enter the Flickr crowd. No I am a Flickr-ite so it’s ok for me to comment about the madness there cause, I’m maybe the most madneser guy there.

It’s not easy to stand up for yourself amongst the crowd. We all want to be accepted and appreciated.To let that influence what and how and why we do things is a problem. Actually it’s many problems on a multitude of levels.

Ok ok… check this stuff out…… your looking at someones work. You check the meta data out and see that person is working with a Fuji X100T You don’t have that camera BUT YOU KNOW YOU NEED IT!

That shooter was in Paris and you can’t walk there….BUT YOU HAVE TO GET THERE! That shooter is very sensitive to the darkness and you always do bright sunny or overcast light…BUT YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO SHOOT IN THE DARKNESS.

C’mon, I’m the worst of the lot of us. I have 1400 cameras, airline tickets to every city in the world and a guide in each city to show me the streets cause I’m too fucked up to know ANYTHING ANYMORE!

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Ok, so here’s something for youse to chew on. In my interviews for the Inspired Eye Magazine, I ask a question about going out to work alone of with others.

99% of the interviewed answer, alone. Now I find that a very interesting question and the answer seems so simple but it’s the most crucial question you will ever be asked. Your answer to that  determines how in touch with what your doing you are.

Here’s what I mean. Photography is a 2 dimensional art form. I rather think it’s really a 3 dimensional art form and the 3rd dimension is not space but the mind. Of course those with a spaced out mind, are ok and this applies to them also.

When you go out to work and your alone, just you and your NAMED camera and your in a place you like to work, are you alone? Most of course will say yeah, I like to work alone.

You are not alone. You are out there with all the things people say about your work, all the things you see in other peoples work, all the stuff that you want to improve upon, all the energy that is churning around in your mind and much of it is placed there by others.

It’s the unheard voices in your head that will overcome you and make you surrender your self to them. Those voices dictate what you see and how you see and why you see it and what you use to capture it.. They do not have your best interest at heart.  They are there and they force their will upon us in many ways, location, camera, processing, everything.

Ever hear the expression….”Misery loves company.” It’s true. Why do you think we all get married?

It’s the weekend. Olivier and I have the presses going strong to get the new issue out to everybody. I will seeya all very soon…

chew on this stuff and don’t be afraid to let me know your thoughts…..

….to be cont’d………

Battling Depression

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Moods are the very key to accepting your work and maybe your life. What I’m getting at is, being aware of your emotional state lets you live with and accept the who you are.  I see it like this…..there is a normal state of depression, a happy depression and a sad depression. There are divided sub states of depression in between each main category listed.

I am not a shrink or trained professional so take what I say as a well learned and lived patient. I didn’t learn from textbooks, web info, lectures or anything like that. I learned from the other side of the couch the pros sit on.

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I know a few things. I know that what gets me going photographically, is finding my emotions on the street. Yeah, i been told I have no heart, no feelings. Agreed, I’m an idiot and thats why I make photos. I want to find my emotions out there. Maybe connect with myself and see how I fall in line with others and the world. Isn’t that what most of us want? To see how we fall in place with the world?

See, that’s where I have a problem. I was never the one to fit in. I was never the right cog that helps to make things move. Well, not so true. I’ve mentored enough people to know that I have helped them get into shape with their art. Photography.

I’ve been asked a number of times why I make so many strange photos. Why dark, loneness and kinda out of the mix. Well, in my current state of depression, (subject to change at a moments notice without warning), I think that I always wanted to be true to my self. Well, within the framework of WHO I perceive myself to be and the expectations of what or who I perceive I will or should become.

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See, there are many variables in life and that’s what makes it interesting to live or die. It’s also one cause of depression.

Look at it like this. If you allow the masses to effect what and why you do what you do, in time, you’ll get depressed because you sacrificed your inner individuality to meet the common preconceptions of the masses so that you fit or attempt to fit in. This is a very common situation. You go to social media and you send photos yo your site and it’s a shower of instant gratitude to make you feel better. Congrats because you are well on your way to being the shooter everyone says that is great.

I’m not being cynical because really, I don’t give a fuck about that shit and I don’t give a fuck about what I’m writing either. That does not discount the truth of the matter and that is that social media, that we ultimately allow to direct, effect, affect, control, support, destroy, love, hate, and get DEPRESSED about, exist and we need to find a way to deal with it.

We need to dissect our motives of why we make photos. Not the HOW of what we are doing but the WHY. If we don’t address this and many wont, what will happen is that we will fall into the dark abyss of uncertainty where all the shooters that do things because others give them gratitude perish.

You wanna talk about depression? That’s hell and depression is the escape from there. Think that no matter how deep your depression gets, it’s a scratch on the surface of  the abyss of uncertainty. This is the turning point.

The anti-I do my life for you shit..

You wanna talk about bright sun, F11 1/500 ISO 200……..this may not be the place for you.

If your interested in trying to find yourself and maybe discovering something about me, well… maybe this is a good spot. No promises.

I know this. I Make photos because I have to. The ones I really feel a connection to are usually the ones others don’t respond to or understand. I used to get upset about that.

It added to my depression and I would feel like I didn’t fit in. Then one day a long time ago in a far off galaxy, I decided…..I’m in this for me. I love to share but I’, make photos for me and I’ll die with my camera in my hand……

ohhhhh don’t worry, I’m coming back and real soon too………..

 

 

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 61 … Observations of Lost Innocence

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Tacony Flea Market, Phila. 2005

We are a product of our environment and our work is a product of us. Now that may seem like a generalization and maybe it is but it’s true nonetheless. I was looking at Amira Issmail’s work again and I thought how innocent she is and her work. Now obviously, she’s an adult and a beautiful lady but she presents her work in a way that is pure joy.

What I mean is, Amira has a way of working that is void of attitude and jaded from the environment of the human condition. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5iotgw9USPLu5gKfxrw82A I find it interesting in this day and age that someone could be almost clean of attitude and their presence in their work. You can see her work on the Inspired Eye FB page and others places. Just look and see what I’m talking about.

So I was wondering when and where I lost my photographic innocence and I realized, I can’t lose what I never had.  Muddy said that and he’s right. I’m kinda envious becaue everything I do is , I guess jaded for lack of a better word and this effects what and how and why I do it.

I never got to see the world with starry eyes and glitter all arround. I’m not saying Amira does either. What I’m saying is, Amira and I’m sure many others have the ability to work in any environment and see the joy of living. The simple but delicious things around and that others don’t even think or feel or even care about. This is a very precise meaning for making images.

To share with others how and why  you see what you see.

Anyway, Serendipity comes home tomorrow and the guys on the camera shelf are excited and so am I.

Have a blessed weekend……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 58 … Olympus Pen F… Life Lessons

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With all the shot going on around the world, there is a growing distance between countries and it’s peoples. The thing is, I don’t give a shit about the politicians. They have been robbing and fucking over the people for far too long. My concerns lay with people. You know the human being type. The citizens of the EARTH. Fuck no, I’m not naive at all. I’m just awake and aware of life going on around me. There is a growing distance between people and it’s not racial, religious, political or any of the obvious things. The distance seems to be the essence of the heart. Looks like people, including me, as hard as that is to believe, are losing touch with their heart.

So, if in fact, that is true and it is and you will believe it, then how is someone to relate to anyone else if they can’t relate to themselves?  Shooters try to find photos and things of interest that translate well to the medium of photography.

One of the things I get ticked about is the reality of the subject vrs the reality of the print. This brings into play, the concept of Intent. If we address the idea of being a photographer, an observer and recorder of life, then we have to accept the resonsibility of what our photos are and what they do or at least what we would like them to do. Maybe this means that our photos have an inherit intent that maybe we implant in them.

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I think and this is subject to change at a moments notice, that it’s about the Purpose of Reality and the Reality of Purpose. That interprets to the idea of Intent. I know, I’m fixated on intent and rightly so. I have lived my life the best I could being aware that I am alive in a certain place in a certain time, called the Here and Now. The beautiful part of this has been that I usually have a camera with me. Many times when this awareness overcomes me, I make a photo. When I see the image in LR, I start to anyalize it and try to define what the moment was and is for me. I make the visual adjustments to get what I feel or felt or both into the image so that othrs can see what and how I was feeling.

This brings into play the idea of straight photography and that’s a bunch of pure shit. If people can’t see the photograph as it’s own reality, move on and away from me.

Faces & Spaces

 

I’m exhausted and will continue this shortly. These are just things I learned as a human being with a camera. Mayne you are interested and maybe not. That’s your decision. I will lay it on the line here and youse decide to take it of leave it. I tell you this, I will continue and hopefully you will too.

I am open for comments and suggestions and even conversations if ya have the mind to get into this.

Have a blessed journey and may all good things come your way. May you never have to sneak a camera in the house again.

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 55 … Olympus Pen F … Street Life

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The temperature dropped and the wind picked up and it felt cool but not too cold. It’s the kind of weather that I wear a sweatshirt and a jacket. I’m cruising around Market street and I go thru the tunnel and look to my left, I see this guy sitting there in the dark. It’s very low light. I walked thru into the light. I stopped. I wondered if this guy even knew where he was. I wondered if I knew where I was. Was he wondering if he knew when he or I was? Is it my concern or business? Fucking A-Diddly.

So, Serendipity  tugged at my hand and insisted I go back to make a photo. The thing is, sometimes I get a gut reaction instantly, looking at something/someone. If I continue to walk away from this scene, what happens is that I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Kinda like eating sour kraut and drinking milk. Yeah, you too huh. Well, I got this feeling many times in the past and when I made the photo, it was always one I want to remember. Isn’t that the beauty of photography? Well, sure nuff…. that feeling came to me quick and now, oh yeah….. now I be smart enough not to drink milk and eat sour kraut together. I think I am smart enuff to recognize that feeling and go back and I did.

I wondered how in this age with all the millions and millions being spent on election bullshit and everything else, how could a man, a human being be so alone, so forgotten to be sitting in his own urine in a dark corner? I don’t have an answer and most don’t want one anyway.

 

So, Adobe was kind enough to release an ACR update for LightRoom.  Well, I been shooting jpegs and at first they are awesome. Then in a little bit of time, they are ok. Then just before I was going to abandon the Olympus Pen F, I can now do RAW. Well, I gotta say that the RAW files are specrtacular. It is really very nice indeed. The photo above was RAW and the tones and detail are incredible. Hard to see on the web but on my screen, sure as heck glad I didn’t sell Serendipity.

Have a blessed journey and hepp your eye, heart and mind awake……

……………………………………………..shooter out………………………………………………………..

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 51 … Investigating the Olympus Pen F … Observations

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Some say I’m weird naming my cameras. I suppose to those whose heart is buried up their poop shoot, I may seem that way. Naming my camera is a metaphor for my love of photography. My love of photography is a metaphor for my love of life. So in fact then who’s the weird one in the end? Not I says Shooter. I name my cameras. I get excited being in the here and now on the street. I LIVE photography. It defines who I am as a Human Being. What defines you is not what you leave behind. Friends, Family etc. they do not define you and they do not exit stage left when you do. What defines you is what you are while you are here on the planet.

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Photographers are lucky if they are tuned into their life and life on the planet. We as photographers have the gift, of showing what the planet looked like while we were on it, above ground. So does that negate all reasons for making photos except for memories? Don’t look at me, I’m asking you. I ain’t about to have a one-way conversation here. Youse don’t get off that easy. Ok we make a deal.Youse read and think and I’ll write what I’m thinking and feeling. If youin’s feel the need to add to the conversation, see down there that little box that says,….”Comments”…well use it.

 

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Ok, now that that’s out of the way, may we continue. No, not youse, me and the others inside my head. They are going nuts up there. At least I don’t have racing thought too much anymore. Oh, don’t get it wrong. I got many thoughts cooking up there but now that I’m older, they all take their time and no racing crap anymore.

So, Serendipity and I went out for a walk-a-bout and it was kinda cold. I kept her warm against my chest and we just got into a groove. Now, getting into a groove requires the shooter to be aware that they are in the here and now and aware of their intent. If there exist any intrusions, well… go paint the garage. That will be more productive and won’t leave you in a bad state of disappointment.

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I’m told by one of those restless voices up top that I have to chat about Serendipity for a bit. It’s true, it’s true. Sometimes I wish I was a normal shooter and thought about my cameras as tools. It would be so easy to be detached and just use it when needed and not give much thought to the emotional stance of the camera.

Problem for me is, my cameras are not tools. They are my friends. I do feel them that way and I do care about what emotional state they are in. Serendipity is the case in point. She represents all that I am and all that MOTHER LIGHT is and all that photography is every second of my life. How dare I not have a fitting name?!

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The Pen F for sure has Mojo instilled in it. Maybe I’m just infactuated because it’s the first camera in decades that makes me want to use a finder. It’s true.

I am a screen shooter because of the placement of the image on the screen in time and space. There is nothing as accurate or stimulating as using a screen. It’s like seeing your print forming in 3D reality. You have both eyes open and you have a sense of DEPTH and the flatness of the 2D image on the screen. There is nothing more accurate. NOTHING.  Serendipity has me using the finder and it’s not like I never used one before. I used many and many different styles. 45 years on the Leica M and I’d still be there if I could focus the damn camera. I can’t. Tremors and vision and screen time.

The EVF is very sharp and very bright and even has an adjustment to change the brightness of the finder. It’s left side mounted and that’s crucial for eyes wide open. I always hated center mounted finders. First time I used one was in Nam. I made friends with a chap from OZ. His name was Jock and we got real close.He was a gret shooter, with a camera. One day Jock came to me and asked me to watch his Nikon F. He had a 105mm 2.5 on it and a few lenses. All in a combat carry satchel. Anyway, I looked at the camera and cot kinda shook up. I mean as I looked thru, it was evident to me that the image I was looking AT was a 2-dimensional image.  I hated that. My Leica gave me an image I could look THRU not AT. So I hated the SLR and all of it’s offspring forever. I still do. Jock didn’t make it and I was extremely saddened. So, I took his camera home with me. Just 3 years ago, I got in touch with one of his daughters and I sent the camera to her.

Olivier will arrive at my place tomorrow morning for about 5 days to do some work we need to get done. Friday morning we are going to Bill’s house to hang out. Who’s Bill? If you get the magazines, you’ll know in a few issues.If you don’t well… borrow an issue cause Bill will be a most interesting read.

Be blessed my friends…………………………………………….. end transmission…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 47 … Investigating the Olympus Pen F

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It was a bad night sleep again. I think the ghost and demons decided to allow me to have some peace of mind. Well, I didn’t sleep anyway because Serenity the Pen F was dancing in my mind. I ws restless cause the new girl was enticing and I wanted to be with her.  So awoke and sipped a cup of Coffee, actually inhaled is proper. Can ya believe it, rain. I mean rain that teases you. See, the rain that is pouring, well we all know to stay home and watch HSN and fall asleep on the couch. The teasing rain is the kind that just is a very light drizzle. It’s not reall rain but it teases and tempts you to come out. So, what happens usually is, ya get out in the  teasing rain and say, “Yeah, I got this”. Then, well the plumber has a sense of humor causethen the RAIN starts. Your camera has to be sheltered etc.

I had teasing rain and decided that above all, I will spend time with Serenity and keep her protected from rain, mother rapers, father rapers and politicians running for  President.

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OOC

I follow MU43.com because I lived there a few years as Admin. I like some of the people there and i read comments about things. I generally know that if I read a negative comment about something, then it’s perfect for me.

See, all over the web, ppl are saying the front dial on the Pen F is a mistake. NOOOOOO! It’s perfect if you are a shooter and not a camera critique. I am not a jpeg shooter usually. I do raw. The Pen F isn’t supported by Adobe yet for some reason. What I do like is…. Most times I like to see my screen in B&W. There are times I want to see it in color because I want to. This doesn’t mean I’m doing jpeg, it just means I want to see the screen the way I feel and not have to get my manual out and find in the menu how to do that.

The dreaded front dial does this instantly. The placement is also under criticism. Bunk! With the camera at the eye, your finger goes right to the front dial without searching and then,,, Eureka! I can change from B&W to Color in an instant and see how I desire to without taking a course in the camera. I am actually doing  jpeg with the Pen F and I use that front dial to see how Serendipity sees. It’s a beautiful collaboration.

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OOC

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So, Oly calls the front dial the creative dial and they are right. It’s not in the way, it’s where  it needs to be to be creative with it. Just think about photos and whay you want to do and don’t look for flaws others are dwelling on. There is always negative and positive energy. The on/off switch is under fire. Well, for me, it’s perfect. It’s out of the way and never gets used accidently and only when you need it. It rolls very nice and has a sweet line on it so you know by looking if you are on/off.

The need for a grip. NADA!

I like a camera to be a part of me. I want to feel it become at one with me and not as if it were a tool. Now be nice in yer thoughts. Serendipity the Pen F is a female. Why, Oly named her a Female. Pen F is F = Female. it’s not Pen M = Male or Pen TG = Transgender. So I love females. I have a few in my life. Imagine that. When you are with a female, (ladies may even think of the camera as Male, that’s an individual choice but I’m writing this and I’m with my girl Serendipity so she’s a Female and youse do what the hell you want I’m just saying you need to name your camera and gender is important in developing your relationship)

So there’s a gentle feeling holding the Pen F. She kinda likes to slide a little in my fingers. Most don’t like this and want a grip. I don’t. I used LeicaM’s for decades and never had a grip issue.

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So far there’s only 1 thing I am uneasy about. The Screen. Yes. it’s bright and sharp. Yes, it’s a nice size and does what you need, easily. It’s articulated and moves around nicely and you can do selfies. It tilts and all ya want. I just wish it tilted at the camera position and not have to swing out. I learned about tilting screens from Ray Sachs and the Sony Nex 5 we were both using. With that, you just tilted the screen and you were still discreet. With this on the Pen F, you swing it out and your not as discreet anymore.

It is by no means a deal breaker but a little thing that may bug me later. I’ll chat with my shrink and my screen shrink mentor Ray and try to resolve it.

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OOC

This is not a review. Please don’t think I care about reviewers causeI don’t. This is an ongoing investgation with findings from me. If you know anyone from Philadelphia you will understand what I am about to say. If not, you will anyway.

The Olympus Pen F is BANGING. I’ll post more shortly and hopefully you can get out of this what I do.

Be blessed my friends…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 41 … Ricoh GRII … One ShoT pEr ShOOt

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So Mom and I are out trying to find some photos. That’s right. Trying to find. See, there are photos all over out there. Oh, sorry. Please forgive my rudeness. Mom is the name of my Ricoh GRII. Anyway, we went for a walk and was waiting for some photos to greet us. See, if you aren’t open minded and open hearted, then you’ll spend your life seeking photos. That’s ok but then you miss all the photos that are trying to find you. Yes, that’s right. They want to be found by you so you may bring them to life.

Here’s an example. Your walking around looking at everything in existence near you. That’s a chore in itself. Then you see something and click. I know everyone here is tuned into things enough to realize that this is not a one-way relationship. Sure, we all know that Photography is a 2 way and reciricol relationship. That’s common knowledge. So why amI writing this? Good question and I can’t really answer it either. I think each of you can answer for yourself. All except that guy in the blue shirt. He’s a sculptor not a shooter.

So as I was walking I felt that brisk cold air on me cheeks. The face cheeks, ok. Ya know, the light in Winter here in Philly has a very special feel to it. It’s crisp and clear. Lighting things harshly but also gently. The shadows are never so alive as in the winter. I was watching the shadow play all over the place and then out of nowhere. This wall was put up on Market to block the entrance to theGallery. Ed Bacon would have a knipshun. So I saw the shadows dance against the wall and it was beautiful. The shapes and intensity varied by the second as the light changed. I was watching and then all the sudden….CLICK!

Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 36 … Ricoh GRII … One ShoT pEr ShOOt

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Well, I’m off and running with this 1 shot per shoot thingy. I agreed with myself that the only criteria for the photo used for the shoot is that I like it. No matter about what others think or by any preconceptions I may have about my work. I just have to like it.

It’s the act of realizing my intent and seeing it come to life as the image. Yo, you don’t get off the hook that easy. It’s the same for you or for all. We all need to hold ourselves accountable in life. Yes, damn sure does mean in photography too. So I actually hold myself accountable for my work BUTT!

I have a shrink and he knows all of us, umm, all of me. So I can be accountable and at the same time blame myself for not doing that. USA Shrink approved.

The world seems to be becoming introverted, well from what I can see. People seem to be withdrawing into themselves and smaller groups. It’s like no one wants any outside interference. As an observer, it’s very awkward. As an observer with a camera, it’s downright unsettling. The difference is that for most people, they may see this withdrawn state and not pay much attention to it or the causes. For observers with a camera, we pay close scrutiny to the because we observe with a clear intent of seeing and feeling and capturing the scene.

That’s what I felt with this photo. I felt this guy withdrawing unto himself and just shutting out the world. I was right in front of him, camera ready and he didn’t see me or worse he did see me and didnt give a shit. So I moved around to the bach and felt that this was a better stance. It shows him and it shows me. Both in a shared here and now but, hedidn’t know that.

Seeya’s soon…………… shooter out………………………………………………….